Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Eros

In his book entitled The Four Loves, Lewis talks about four different types of love. The type of love that we read about is known as Eros, or the act of "being in love". According to Lewis, this type of love is what happens before any sexual desire happens between two people. Lewis says: "Very often what comes first is simply a delighted pre-occupation with the Beloved...A man in this state really hasn't leisure to think of sex. He is too busy thinking of a person. The fact that she is a woman is far less important than the fact that she is herself."

Lewis makes the difference between Eros and sexual desire very clear: "Sexual desire, without Eros, wants it, the thing in itself; Eros wants the beloved." I thought it was very true when Lewis talked about a lustful man wanting a woman: "Strictly speaking, a woman is just what he does not want. He wants a pleasure for which a woman happens to be the necessary piece of apparatus." He goes on to say, "Now Eros makes a man really want, not a woman, but one particular woman."


I thought that in a lot of ways, this chapter was really refreshing to read. It talked so much about how Eros is all about loving the person first before there is any sexual desire. This mindset is completely opposite and counter-cultural of today's world. All of the media claims that having sex with someone when you barely seem to know them is totally okay, and it helps you to fall in love with them. When this chapter talks about Eros, I think it's comforting to know that Lewis was trying to combat the same thing when he wrote this chapter. It seemed to be a problem back then as well. It was so great to read about "being in love" as a complete preoccupation with the person because they are who they are, not because of sexual desire. The sexual desire comes as a result of two people being in love with each other. This, I believe, is what God wanted love to be like when He created it.

1 comment:

  1. It was interesting how C.S. Lewis describes Eros and how he points out that the fact that 'she' is a woman is less important than the fact that 'she' is herself.

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